Well, it is offical. 10/19/12 and I have moved in to the computer room and am sleeping on an air mattress on the floor. Not that it is such a big deal. I haven't slept in the bedroom more than 20 nights since mid-February. Can't take the snoring, the thrashing, the randoms hits/kicks (those last ones being all completely unintentional). Kent is an active sleeper and as of late, I just can't handle it any longer. His movement are completely driven by his sleep, and he'd not harm me no matter what. I've slept most nights in my chair in the living room since Feb. At least on the air mattress I can now stretch out.
I was supposed to have the futon bed in the spare bedroom, but he never got around to cleaning out that room even though he told me it was the FIRST thing he'd do when he was laid off from Brock. Layoff date was 8/30/12, and it is 10/29/12 today. Yeah, like that happened. So he spent his last free weekend cleaning out the computer room. Only fair, I guess. He spent most of the time he could have spent cleaning out the spare bedroom over at Brian's, working on a new carriage for the swivel gun. As usual, he fiddlefarted around until he suddenly had a job. That has happened for 3 years running. And this time I wasn't understanding about it, because enough was enough. I had to come first in this. Yeah, I come first in a lot of things, but this was a life threatening situation for me, and there was not getting around it this time. I know I pissed him off, but it if don't stand up for my life, who will? No one, that's who. Kent hasn't been ill like I have to truly understand what it is like for me.
He was hired 10-24-12 at a place over in Lafayette, on second shift (boo, hiss) but at least it is a job. And he was a direct hire, not hired via a temp service. Which means he gets more money. And after his 90 day probationary period he will have benefits. Yes! Benefits! Gonna cost us a bunch, but by claiming my social security check after I turn 62 we will have enough to make up the missing funds plus pay for the medications and doctors, etc. Yes! Now if only...
I don't know if I'll ever be able to sleep in the same bed with him, at least as long as he snores so badly. The snoring had been getting a little better since he was out of Brock and no long in the dust in Brian's garage. But that will probably be changing now that he's back to work. He says the plant is clean, but factory is a factory is a factory, and dust and debris accumulate... We'll see. After he gets some benefits we may look in to having his apnea diagnosed, and see if he can get the CPAP stuff so he actually sleeps deeply. Maybe I can tolerate that noise of a night. All this remains to be seen.
Maybe if we get a sleep number mattress to properly support us, he might lay more quietly. And then again, maybe not. He has not been working for nearly 2 months and the thrashing is suddenly worse...It is work related, that is for certain.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Thursday, October 18, 2012
The Little One
We had a squirrel make her nest in the pine tree just north of our back fence line, in the last pine tree behind our property in 2011. It was entertaining to watch her gather the leaves to make the nest from our northernmost maple tree.
She was a beautiful speciman of fox squirrel, and I named her Fat N Sassy. She had a couple of babies in the spring, one of whom earned the name Young N Dumb. Don't know if the other squirrel we kept seeing was hers or was a neighbor.
This fall I noted a young squirrel behind of neighbor's property, and it was just a beautiful as its mother. At the time of discovery I didn't know if it was male or female.
Never saw this squirrel run the lines or get over in to our north maple tree, so I sort of named it Young N Younger.
Last week I noticed that this squirrel was having a hard time coming down the tree just west of the nest tree trunk. Thought it might be because the tree was dead. It seemed to spend a lot of time behind our property, on the ground. Never seemed to go very far away while I was watching it.
On Monday I discovered the reason for the climbing difficulty. It had a sore right hind leg. On Tuesday I glimpsed a second wound on the inside of the right hind leg, and could see that it wasn't putting any weight on the leg. Just before dusk I discovered, to my horror, that the left front leg ended in a stump at about the wrist. Therefore, this poor squirrel only had 2 working legs. I knew that it was doomed to either get caught by a cat or dog while on the ground, or die of infection. That appalled me, and even though I knew no one would be there, I went looking for a DNR number, only to find there wasn't one for wildlife control in the phone book. I placed a couple of walnuts at the base of the nest tree, along with an apple, so it could at least have some nourishment near safety.
On Wednesay I observed this squirrel laying in the grass in the sun, reclining back so that I had a good view of the belly. It was then that I knew it was really a she. I tossed her some peanuts and some striped sunflower seeds but she was not interested. I started calling her Little One because of her youth and my horror at her injuries. It is possible that the left front paw was a deformity, but I'll never know, not having seen her clearly before Tuesday.
I was appalled at her lack of interest in the easy food. And when I came back to look at her about an hour later, she had laid belly down on the ground and had her tail up next to her body. I immediately though that she had just died, and I started crying. That was when I went in to the house and called the Humane Society. They suggested a place which sold traps, but I asked what I was supposed to do with it after I caught it because it was, after all, a wild animal. I didn't want to say I didn't want to get in trouble for helping out a wild animal without a license to do so, but I think that the lady knew there was an ethical dilemna there. She then asked if we could catch it under a basket, and I said we could (but I didn't have a clue what we'd use at the time). She said that they didn't normally deal with squirrels, and if it was so badly injured, all they could do was put it to sleep. My heart officially broke on that, although I knew that being put to sleep would be far kinder than starvation or dying of infection or getting caught by a predator. The lady then said she'd send out a Humane Society truck to pick up the injured squirrel.
Kent and I caught her, but she figured out a way from under the plastic pond tub. We had to chase her down again, and this time she went in to an empty kitty litter pail with an attached lid. Of course I knew her time on this Earth was now limited, and it was really tearing me up. I am crying as I write this because of how terrified I knew her to be when we caught her the second time.
She is an innocent creature. What if a predator had gotten ahold of Ptera and left her in that shape before we found her in the yard? Would I have called the Humane Society on her? No, Ptera is a cat, and I'd have tried to save her life. Of course, I did save her life by adopting her into the family, but she was a healthy kitten. Nonetheless, the thought of this innocent squirrel, who only wanted to eat, sleep, play, and follow her natural instincts losing her life because of me hit me hard. I know I was doing what was best for her, doing what was kindest for her.
I sat by the pail, talking to her. As if that did anything but scare her more, I'd imagine. but I was trying to use a calm voice to help calm her down. The Humane Society guy came back and we surrendered the pail with its contents to him. We told him it was badly injured and only had 2 legs to walk/climb with, and was not eating properly. The 2 walnuts that I'd left under the tree Tuesday night were still there. Have no clue what she ate, if anything, other than a few nibbles of apple Tuesday evening and Wed. AM.
It hurts that she is now dead because I called the Humane Society. But watching her suffer was worse yet. I've heard you can judge a person by how it treats animals, and I did waht was right, what was best for her. But the loss of her presence, the fact that I'll never have seen her scampering through the trees and the yard strikes at my heart.
Rest in peace Little One. You were so young, so innocent. You lost your opportunity at a normal life when some predator caught you. You got away, but you suffered mightily for that escape. And you paid the ultimate price anyway because of the extent of that hind leg injury. But please, rest in peace. You are no longer suffering, you are no longer hungry or lonely or afraid. Rest in peace.
She was a beautiful speciman of fox squirrel, and I named her Fat N Sassy. She had a couple of babies in the spring, one of whom earned the name Young N Dumb. Don't know if the other squirrel we kept seeing was hers or was a neighbor.
This fall I noted a young squirrel behind of neighbor's property, and it was just a beautiful as its mother. At the time of discovery I didn't know if it was male or female.
Never saw this squirrel run the lines or get over in to our north maple tree, so I sort of named it Young N Younger.
Last week I noticed that this squirrel was having a hard time coming down the tree just west of the nest tree trunk. Thought it might be because the tree was dead. It seemed to spend a lot of time behind our property, on the ground. Never seemed to go very far away while I was watching it.
On Monday I discovered the reason for the climbing difficulty. It had a sore right hind leg. On Tuesday I glimpsed a second wound on the inside of the right hind leg, and could see that it wasn't putting any weight on the leg. Just before dusk I discovered, to my horror, that the left front leg ended in a stump at about the wrist. Therefore, this poor squirrel only had 2 working legs. I knew that it was doomed to either get caught by a cat or dog while on the ground, or die of infection. That appalled me, and even though I knew no one would be there, I went looking for a DNR number, only to find there wasn't one for wildlife control in the phone book. I placed a couple of walnuts at the base of the nest tree, along with an apple, so it could at least have some nourishment near safety.
On Wednesay I observed this squirrel laying in the grass in the sun, reclining back so that I had a good view of the belly. It was then that I knew it was really a she. I tossed her some peanuts and some striped sunflower seeds but she was not interested. I started calling her Little One because of her youth and my horror at her injuries. It is possible that the left front paw was a deformity, but I'll never know, not having seen her clearly before Tuesday.
I was appalled at her lack of interest in the easy food. And when I came back to look at her about an hour later, she had laid belly down on the ground and had her tail up next to her body. I immediately though that she had just died, and I started crying. That was when I went in to the house and called the Humane Society. They suggested a place which sold traps, but I asked what I was supposed to do with it after I caught it because it was, after all, a wild animal. I didn't want to say I didn't want to get in trouble for helping out a wild animal without a license to do so, but I think that the lady knew there was an ethical dilemna there. She then asked if we could catch it under a basket, and I said we could (but I didn't have a clue what we'd use at the time). She said that they didn't normally deal with squirrels, and if it was so badly injured, all they could do was put it to sleep. My heart officially broke on that, although I knew that being put to sleep would be far kinder than starvation or dying of infection or getting caught by a predator. The lady then said she'd send out a Humane Society truck to pick up the injured squirrel.
Kent and I caught her, but she figured out a way from under the plastic pond tub. We had to chase her down again, and this time she went in to an empty kitty litter pail with an attached lid. Of course I knew her time on this Earth was now limited, and it was really tearing me up. I am crying as I write this because of how terrified I knew her to be when we caught her the second time.
She is an innocent creature. What if a predator had gotten ahold of Ptera and left her in that shape before we found her in the yard? Would I have called the Humane Society on her? No, Ptera is a cat, and I'd have tried to save her life. Of course, I did save her life by adopting her into the family, but she was a healthy kitten. Nonetheless, the thought of this innocent squirrel, who only wanted to eat, sleep, play, and follow her natural instincts losing her life because of me hit me hard. I know I was doing what was best for her, doing what was kindest for her.
I sat by the pail, talking to her. As if that did anything but scare her more, I'd imagine. but I was trying to use a calm voice to help calm her down. The Humane Society guy came back and we surrendered the pail with its contents to him. We told him it was badly injured and only had 2 legs to walk/climb with, and was not eating properly. The 2 walnuts that I'd left under the tree Tuesday night were still there. Have no clue what she ate, if anything, other than a few nibbles of apple Tuesday evening and Wed. AM.
It hurts that she is now dead because I called the Humane Society. But watching her suffer was worse yet. I've heard you can judge a person by how it treats animals, and I did waht was right, what was best for her. But the loss of her presence, the fact that I'll never have seen her scampering through the trees and the yard strikes at my heart.
Rest in peace Little One. You were so young, so innocent. You lost your opportunity at a normal life when some predator caught you. You got away, but you suffered mightily for that escape. And you paid the ultimate price anyway because of the extent of that hind leg injury. But please, rest in peace. You are no longer suffering, you are no longer hungry or lonely or afraid. Rest in peace.
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